Tuesday, October 16, 2007

X-Men #145, 1985.

So judging by the cover, you're thinking that this book is totally gonna kick some ass, right? I mean, it's got Doctor Doom, he's just destroyed the entire X-Men crew and he's doing his best Captain Morgan impression while holding Storm and standing on top of a defeated Colussus. Totally awesome cover. So right about now, you're asking yourself, "Tyler, how does this comic not suck?" Well, slow your roll there, compadre, because while this one does feature the X-Men's first clash with Victor Von Doom, it also features an appearance by Arcade.

Just to get some administration stuff out of the way, this issue was written by the almighty Chris Claremont, and penciled by the combo of Dave Cockrum and Joe Rubinstein.

So, one night while Storm is at an operahouse, Miss Locke (yum) confronts her in her box seat. Storm's first instinct is to electrocute the crap out of her, so after she recovers, Miss Locke tells Storm that Dr. Doom kidnapped Arcade after the two had a falling out. Storm basically says, "And I should care because..." and then Miss Locke reveals that she wants the X-Men to go and rescue him.

So Storm reports back to the X-Men with the info, and the Professor calls the Beast because he's got the hookup over at the Avengers mansion. And he's actually faced the man they call Victor Von Doom, which is something that the X-Men have not. He gives them some pointers, but some of the team aren't really too fired up to go and save Arcade's uesless ass. Wolverine in particular is not a happy camper.

And I guess this is the first time the X-Men have every gone against Doom, because they have no clue who he is. Storm even asks Beast, "Is he that formidable a foe?" Is he a formidable foe? He's Doctor Doom! Hello? Seriously? Wow, Storm. I mean, wow.

Anyways, apparently they're down on membership, because Professor X has to call in some backup. He contacts reserve members Havoc and Polaris (who is looking pretty fine in her old costume if you ask me) and Iceman and Banshee to help out.

It then cuts to a backup story about Cyclops. He washes up on the shore of some island without his visor or glasses and meets some chick not named Madelyne Pryor. I kind of sort of remember this part of the storyline, but in this issue it was only one page long.

So back at the ranch and after a quick briefing so that everyone is on the same page, the X-Men hop in the Blackbird and head over to Arcade's Murderworld. We find out that the reason why Doom is pissed at Arcade is because Arcade turned one of his castles into an amusement park. Yeah. Anyways, so the first team infiltrates the castle and Angel, NIghtcrawler, Collosus and Wolverine take out the cronies, while Storm calmly negotiates with Doom.

Then, suddenly, robots start attacking the X-Men while Storm sits down for dinner with the Doctor. I don't really know how all that happened, but Storm ends up sitting down and is eating and drinking with Dr. Doom, while the rest of the team is getting pummeled. Then the twist ending is revealed. Arcade was never a prisoner, it was just a ploy to get the X-Men to Murderworld! Diabolical!

It ends in a cliff hanger with Doom subduing the entire X-Men squad while Arcade stands there with his thumb up his ass. He can't even capture the X-Men, he has to get Doom to do his dirty work for him. And you know that he's just going to bungle things and they're going to escape. Wow is he lame. So this is a two-parter, but to tell you the truth, if I remember correctly, the second part is a heavy dose of Arcade. I will see if I have the strength to review that one or not.

1 comment:

chris said...

That's just like Storm to be off having dinner with supervillains when there's ass-kicking to be done.