Star Trek, my second post.

Saw Star Trek last night. I warn you, this is a bit of a spoiler, so if you haven't seen it, don't read this...in fact if you have seen it, you probably don't want to read it either. Ha.

The Flaws: I was really disappointed to see this movie suffering from a minor case of Lucas-itis. There were a couple of pages taken DIRECTLY from his book on how to cheese up your over-the-top-action-sci-fi, and a couple that merely follow his theme. 

First, show the main character as a stupid kid, best if the actor is unlikable, has an attitude, and totally overacts his ONE LINE. I don't know WHY directors feel we need to see them as a kid, doing things that really don't affect or add to the greater story line. Second, scary monster scene: desolate planet, CHECK; monster to chase main character, CHECK; bigger monster that comes out of nowhere to eat the other monster, CHECK; the second monster must be huge, and must be a mash-up of every scary creature from every sci-fi movie before it, CHECK. This scene wasn't a direct frame by frame knock-off of scenes from Star Wars Crapisode 1 and 2, but it was far too eerily familiar to ignore. I absolutely hated this scene and couldn't wait for it to end...again, completely worthless for the plot and the character.

The major idea from the Lucas book is killing the consistency of your franchise. One way to do this, that Star Trek suffered from in a way, is to make sure to overdo your ship, weapon, and character design for episodes that are supposed to take place in the past. I was relieved when they showed the exterior of the Enterprise for the first time, they really did justice to the original while updating it minimally. But, I was a little disappointed when they got to the bridge. They kept much of the essence of the original bridge: the overall layout and the size, but I really feel they had way too many fancy technological gadgets and screens (again feeling very Star Wars), and the stark, sterile white was a bit much. The two areas I was most unhappy with though were the beaming effects and the phasers. The original series and Enterprise were very primitive; I don't understand why they felt that wouldn't work and why it all had to be sexed up. The swirlies for beaming just seemed goofy and distracting to me, and I was really sad to see they didn't use a phaser sound similar to the original. That's the type of stuff fans of the original eat up. They did get the beaming sound right, and that was cool, but the phasers sounded like Amidala's from Episode I, and that thing where Kirk's phaser flipped back and forth was just weird.

The $24,000 question, how do you reboot a LONG running series without getting stuck adhering to, or referencing all of the old stories and lore? Throw in an alternate reality timeline. On the one hand, it was a little cheap of Abrams to go this route, on the other hand, it does actually hold with the Star Trek lore that time travel is possible, so it does fit. This both saddens me, and makes me excited. I'm bummed that we aren't going to get to see the updated versions of some of the old stuff, but I'm excited to see where the series goes. Though, I'd be willing to lay down plenty of money that says they go overboard in the next one, trying to outdo the excitement and special effects of this one.

The Characters: The casting for this was pretty well done. The kid Kirk was horrid, but Chris Pine did a good job as the adult Kirk. He was a bit over the top at times, but still did a fairly believable job. Zachary Quinto was exactly what you'd expect. We've seen enough of him as Sylar to know he could do the borderline eerie character of Spock perfectly. John Cho as Sulu, was just a result of needing to casting an asian guy. We lose out on George Takai's bizarrely deep voice, but gain a very strong actor that is just fun to watch on screen. Anton Yelchin from Charley Bartlett fame (worth a watch, if you haven't seen it) was an interesting cast as the campy Checkov character. They really played up the cheese on him, but still managed to create a likable character.

I thought it was a little odd to see British funny man Simon Pegg (of Shawn of the Dead fame) playing Scotty. He did a good job and he's going to be funny in the series, but it's just a little weird. Bruce Greenwood was great as Captain Pike, a very commanding character who fit more as captain than any of the other characters in the movie. And the only other characters I haven't mentioned are Uhura and Spock Prime, so there, I've mentioned them. 

All told, I really enjoyed this movie. Looking back, I'm disappointed that they spent so much time with set-up, but the bar brawl scene, and some of the set-up scenes did actually manage to add to the story. It was great seeing the characters together, and the Star Trek universe is almost always an exciting one. Hopefully in the next episode they'll do some of the quintessential planet exploring with an away team...and I pray to God that if they do, they include the gag where the dude in a red shirt gets killed. I swear, every episode of the original series, the landing party would be Kirk, Spock, Bones, Sulu, and some random guy you've never seen before in a red (or was it blue) shirt who inevitably fell prey to some monster, booby trap, or man-eating plant. 

And there you have it, my post for the decade. I'll check back in with another review when they reboot the Buck Rogers series.

Star Wars: The Clone Wars Review.

So, The Clone Wars. I'll say this: it didn't suck, but it wasn't the greatest thing I've ever seen either. So, it was just kind of meh. I will still Tivo the series this Fall when they start showing episodes on the Cartoon Network. So I guess I should do a review. Ok, just to get this out of the way,

:::::SPOILER WARNING:::::

DO NOT READ THIS IF YOU STILL PLAN TO SEE THE MOVIE

All right. Now here's the good and the bad. And there's PLENTY of both, so strap yourself in, we're in for a long ride.

The Good:
1. The frantic pace. You could kind of tell that it was four half hour episodes and then someone came along and said, "Hey, what if we put this together into a movie?" It got a lot accomplished, so I can't fault it for that when most of the time I'm sitting there in the theater bored out of my skull at certain times.

2. The music. Most of the music had a tribal take on the John Williams classic score. And they kept that up for most of the movie, so it was a nice twist.

3. The character design. I've gotta admit, all of the characters were really well designed, and they all had one cool feature about them. Anakin's hair was pretty cool, Obi-Wan's mustache moved independent of his beard when he talked, Dooku was pretty awesome, it's just stunning to see these characters in a new kind of form. It was really executed nicely, and it's kind of exciting to look forward to the series.

The Bad:
1. The beginning. They did a weird voiceover/montage thing instead of the word crawl. It was kind of annoying and didn't really fit with the rest of the movie. I think some executive at Warner Brothers must have told them to do it.

2. Ahsoka Tano. She is Anakin's Padawan that no one ever knew about before this series, and she was far and away the most annoying character in the movie. I watched some interviews with the director and he explained that she is supposed to be the audience's "touchstone", but they made her way too young. It really started to feel like they specifically targeted it for children. She has an annoying habit of nicknaming people and she doesn't realize when those nicknames are annoying. She calls Anakin, "Skyguy" and Jabba's son "Stinky". But the thing that almost made me walk out of the theater was she kept calling Artoo, "Artooie". OVER THE LINE! There is also NO WAY the Jedi Order would have allowed her to become a Padawan. She is so impetuous and hard-headed, she would have gotten thrown out long before a Master chose her. Anakin also calls her "Snipes" and every time he said it, I wanted to punch CGI Anakin in the face.

One interesting side-note: Anakin was not a Master, even when he was on the Jedi Council. So, logically, something happened to Ahsoka. I'm praying she gets eaten by a Starlacc, but I'm assuming she gets reassigned to another Jedi or is untrainable and is sent to the Jedi Service Corps to become a melon farmer or something.

3. Artoo flying. Seriously, they need to knock this off. This time he flew a very long ways from a very high altitude. Quit it, Lucasfilm.

4. If this was indeed a movie intended for kids (what I'm reading online now is that it was), it was pretty violent. I know killing droids and clones someone skirts the issue, but there was one scene where Jabba is shown the severed heads of the bounty hunters that he sent after Ventress. I didn't mind it, but parent with small children might want to watch out.

5. Kids. There were a ton of kids in the theater. Not cool. One kid in front of me insisted on reading anything that could be read on the screen. Highly annoying.

Knights of the Old Republic.

I've recently been reading the Knights of the Old Republic series by Dark Horse and I am really enjoying it a lot. I think about a year ago at the Star Wars Celebration, Chris' brother Andrew let me read some of the comics he had with him when we were waiting in line, and one of them was the first issue of the series. So then I bought the first trade paperback off of Things From Another World for well under ten dollars because it was in their "Nick and Dent" section. I read it and thought it was pretty good, so I kept a lookout for the second trade, and a couple of weeks ago it popped up in their Nick and Dent section so I scored it for six bucks.

It was the second trade that really got me hooked.

I just bought issues #14-25 off of eBay and they arrived yesterday, so I'm just starting to catch up the rest of the way. I bought some back issues to fill some holes and then had to make a purchase at TFAW.com to fully catch up.

If you're unfamiliar with the series, it actually takes place in the same time line as the video game series, but it's set about eight years before the events in the first game. So if you know what happens in the game, I think eventually this series will set that up rather nicely. At least I hope it will. They've introduced a couple of characters that were major characters in the games, so that's why I say it will eventually fill in the details to setup the video game.

It's a pretty cool series and it takes a lot of the themes that have already been beaten to death in the Star Wars Universe and kind of flips them on their head. Without giving too much away, the main character is named Zayne Carrick and he is not your typical Jedi. Normally, Jedi are strong, confident and in charge. Zanyne...well, he's really not like that at all. He was basically about to fail out of the Jedi Order when he was betrayed.

Speaking of betrayal, that is another theme with a twist. Normally in the Star Wars Universe, betrayal involves a student betraying a Master. In this series, the Masters betray the student(s). Zayne survives and he is forced to become a rogue Jedi. I read something online about how the writers always wondered what would have happened if Luke had become a smuggler and traveled around the galaxy with Han and Chewie getting in and out of trouble. And that's really what it feels like when you read it. It really does have an Episode IV kind of a feel to it.

So, one of the other things it really has going for it is that Zayne has to figure out on his own how to be a Jedi. With every issue they keep developing his character and he slowly gains more and more confidence in his skills. He has a great group of friends and they are always getting involved in some kind of caper; there's always some comedy mixed in with the action, which I always think is a good thing. There's also the mystery behind the group of Masters that betrayed him that is slowly being revealed, so there's a little bit of a detective/mystery vibe going on. I think it all mixes together into a great formula for success. This series debuted in 2006 and it was part of a couple of comics that Dark Horse had released that year to try and breath new life into a 20-year-old series that had grown very stale and repetitious. I personally really enjoy the series and want to catch up quickly so I can read the new issues each month. So check it out if have the chance and definitely try and pick up the back issues. I think they're just getting to release the fourth trade, which collects issues #19-24 in September/October. I highly suggest seeking this one out, especially if you're a Star Wars nerd like I am.

Star Wars Video Games

I totally blew my chance, but I could have finally pitched my Star Wars video game idea to LucasArts at CIV. Damn. Hopefully someone will do a Google search of "Star Wars video game ideas," land on this page and then forward it on to the appropriate people.

Here's my idea: make a badass 1-on-1 fighting game but throw out all rules of continuity. My only problem with Star Wars games is they force them into Star Wars continuity. In The Clone Wars video game, you're racing along as Mace Windu in your Republic Tank towards the Geonosian Arena, and you have a huge ass tank battle with Count Dooku's Dark Acolytes. So that's what happened right before he got to the Arena and snuck up on Count Dooku and Jango Fett in Episode II, in case you were curious. I guess it's cool that it fits into the continuity, but sometimes it feels...so forced.

So, make a fighting game and throw continuity out the window. I want a 1-on-1 match where Count Dooku fights a Rancor monster. I want to see Mace Windu duke it out with Jedi Leia, and Jango Fett take out Bossk. Tell me this game wouldn't blow up the game charts. Someone get LucasArts on the horn, pull some people off of the next crappy Star Wars cellphone game and get them working on this.

Star Wars Celebration IV- Revenge of the Bantha Burger

Well, Star Wars Celebration IV has come and left Los Angeles a smoking pile of scrap metal just like scavenging Jawas would have done. It was about what I expected - lots of (somewhat) interesting panels, lots of people in costumes, and lots of people selling the exact same things. The highlights for me were seeing Star Wars in 30 Minutes and the 3D Clone Wars cartoon trailer. To say it looks impressive is an understatement.

I only got one autograph, but went with my brother as he got the rest of his. We took pictures with most of the actors and they were all very nice. I got the signature of Orli Shoshan (Shaak Ti). I didn't get it because she's hot, I got it 'cause Shaak Ti rules! It's just a bonus she's good looking, though I can't understand why Lucas would hire hot girls like her or Amy Allen, then hide them in make-up and costumes.

We went to a panel with Daniel Logan, Temura Morrison and Jeremy Bulloch - the Fett family! It was entertaining - the guys were funny, but to think an actor who walked around in a costume for two movies and didn't say his own lines gets a standing ovation with dozens of flash photographs is a little silly. But I guess that's the point to Star Wars, and moreso, a Star Wars Celebration. Hey look, it really is the little person who hung out in a trash can for six movies - we love your work! Hence why I paid $20 for the autograph of a Jedi that was mostly in the background.

A SW convention is also the only place people would get excited when a Starbucks barista calls out "Order 66 is ready!" Swear to God, I heard it. Well okay, I heard about it. The only merch I walked away with was a Yoda magnet, but there was a dope booth with tons of pop culture t-shirts where I got an Avengers shirt, a GI Joe shirt and an early birthday present of a Captain America sweatshirt. Yeah, I went to Star Wars Celebration IV and all I spent on Star Wars merchandise was $2.50.

I think the people in costumes were one of the more interesting things - a curious thing were people dressed up as V (from V For Vendetta), Captain Jack Sparrow and Barf from Spaceballs. Although, I guess if you made a Barf costume back in 1987, you'd be thankful you had a chance to dust it off. A handful of photos from the event:

The Elvis Trooper:




That's no moon, it's a space station!




Join us and together we will rule the galaxy!




This isn't the mailbox we're looking for.

Star Wars Celebration IV, Part Deux.

Wow, this was a long day. I would say the coolest thing happened was the first thing we did, which was sit and listen a talk about the new The Clone Wars animated series. It was ok, even though they had massive technical difficulties with the mics and the air conditioning didn't kick in until about halfway through the presentation. The best part was that we saw the first public viewing of the trailer for the series, twice. It was dopesauce. I cannot wait for it to start airing on TV, too bad we have to wait about a year and a half for it. The second coolest thing we did was the second thing we did, which was going to see Star Wars in 30 minutes (Choo! Choo!). It's a really good time. While we were waiting in line for something else, I read some of Chris' brother's Dark Horse Star Wars comics, and I guess now I've gotta start collecting them. Thanks, Andy. Jerk. First stop, eBay. Second stop, my local comic shop, which I still haven't stepped foot in yet. Anyways, here are some of the highlights (or lowlights depending on your point of view) in pictoral form for your viewing pleasure:


Yes! I found him! The Elvis Stormtrooper!


I really don't know what happened here...


100% Pure Bantha Beef Burger.


I don't know who's creepier, the people in this photo, or me for taking the picture. I think it's me. Like most guys of my generation, I have a strong and strange attraction to Slave Leia...


Lego Threepio.


Lego R2.


Barf! (And Chris and Kareena)


The Death Star is fully operational...


Lego Chewie.


Dude, Chaka's still in jail, man...


Luke's severed head.


Oh. My. Gawd.


The Man, The Myth, The Legend...


Pesky Jawas.


It was a lot of fun, but I'm offically tired of walking.

Star Wars Celebration IV.

Chris and I are headed off to Star Wars Celebration IV with some friends this morning. I hope we are able to survive somehow. I will try and take my camera in and if we do end up surviving, I will post some pictures tomorrow. This should be a very interesting day.