Spider-Man #583, 5th Print.

I was cruising through the new releases for tomorrow and getting a list together and saw that Marvel is going to ship a fifth printing of the Spider-Man issue featuring President Obama. Crazy. Somehow, I got a second printing from a guy at work. They are also shipping a second printing of Thunderbolts #128, so I'll be picking that one up for sure and then I'll buy a first-print off of eBay in six years when all of the hype is over.

Spider-Man: Web of Shadows

Because Iron Fist video games won't sell, Marvel is releasing yet another Spider-Man video game. This one's titled Web of Shadows, and because he's popular, Wolverine is in it. Great. I watched the trailer for this one and it looks like alien symbiotes invade Earth, so this one looks like a button masher. I'll definitely pass on this one. Some of the combo stuff looks neat but even if I had a current game system, I'd pass on this one and wait for Ultimate Alliance 2.

New Venom/Iron Man's Armory.

So Marvel recently released an article about Spider-Man's newest enemy, only it's kind of an old enemy. It's Venom and he gets a new look. I guess it's not the real Venom, but maybe another symbiote, and I think they're calling it Anit-Venom. Here's the story.

Another cool article: Take 10: Iron Man's Armory. Personally, I'd have the Stealth Armor higher on the list, but there's no doubt that the War Machine Armor is tops. That armor is badass.

Update 2/25/08.

Another day, another Secret Invasion poster release from Marvel. I actually like the two they've released so far. Hopefully they keep it up and release a few more.

Marvel also released an article about Spider-Man's Villians. You can read that here. One writer said his favorite Spidey villain is The Vulture. The Vulture? Seriously?

I guess on Wednesday I'll be buying House of M: Avengers #5 (I'm sad that it's the last issue), Thunderbolts: International Incident # 1 (I bought a recent run [#100-118] off of eBay, so I'm waiting for that to arrive to get caught up), and X-Men Legacy #208 (I'm interested to see what this series is now about). I am also really tempted to buy the All-New Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe A to Z Vol.1, even though it's like $25. I love that kind of stuff. But maybe I'll flip through it first because @25 is a lot of money for something I'm probably only going to read once.

::UPDATE:: They added a Phoenix poster, which I thought was pretty cool.

Why Spider-Man 3 Sucks, Part 2.

I just got back from seeing Spidey 3 and yeah, there was some disappointment. I was going into it with low expectations, and left still feeling disappointed. Here are my thoughts, obviously there's a spoiler alert because there are plenty of them ahead:


1. I know there are a lot of hot looking women in New York, but seriously, what was the deal with having smokin' hot chicks in every scene? And I'm not just talking about the Saturday Night Fever scenes, every scene had hot women everywhere. Every scene. Even in the lab where they were controlling the experiment that mutated the Sandman there were there where like three of them in lab coats. C'mon, how about showing some normal looking people? There were no normal people in this movie.

2. Stan Lee. Please stop. Your cameos were cool in the first couple of movies, but it's getting old. We know you're the guy that created all of these characters (or at least you're taking credit for all of them). We know this. Please stop destroying your legacy. I'm begging you. Please.

3. So, if you're made out of sand, how is it physically possible for you to cry? I know Comic Book Physics can pretty much explain anything, but I was laughing out loud at the scene at the end when the Sandman was crying. It was just funny for some reason.

4. Harry/The Green Goblin II. I totally agree with my sidekick Chris, this could have been done so much better. It could have been a whole movie. The amnesia part was lame, and you could see the ending coming from a mile away, you knew he was going to help him and get killed. I called it about an hour before it happened, when he was still "Good Harry". And having the butler tell him about cleaning his Dad's wounds was super lame. Why didn't he step up and do that months (or a movie) ago? I did like the snowboard he got at Marty McFly's garage sale though, that was pretty cool.

5. The scene when they were talking at the French Restaurant was killing me. Just shut up already, both of you. And for some reason, I knew the Bruce Campbell scene was coming, even though I had heard nothing about it. I yelled out Bruce! right after he came onscreen. I thought THAT was a nice cameo. Take some notes, Stan. But, I don't understand why Parker didn't recognize him as the usher that kept him out of MJ's play in the first one. They could have thrown in a "have we met before?" with Bruce's character denying it, and that would have been cool with me.

6. The part at the end where Spidey shows up to fight Venom and the Sandman and he lands for a split second right in front of the American flag was super lame. Seriously? That's what you've got? You can't get any more heavy-handed than that. And, again, it was totally lame.

I would like to see a fourth one, but I think it needs a fresh voice. I love Sam Raimi, but I think he got a little too full of himself and bit off more than he could chew. Too many storylines, too many characters, too many villians. I don't really think there's a word to describe how disjointed this movie was. It was just so choppy. You could tell it was trying to do too much. And two and a half hours? I had a headache by the time I left the theater. I won't be buying it on DVD and it's a good thing I only spent six bucks on it. If you can see it as a matinee for six dollars, I would recommend it, otherwise, wait for it to come on HBO in a coupe of months.

The Amazing Spider-Man #282.

EDITOR'S NOTE: I thought I'd publish this one because my sidekick Chris wrote about Spider-Man 3 a couple of days ago, and this comic kind of, sort of, relates to the movie a little bit.

My cousin Dave bought me this comic. This is significant because my cousin Dave lives in Canada and I've only ever met him like two or three times. In the summer of 1986, my family drove from Los Angeles to Niagara Falls, where my Aunt and my Cousin live. So one day while we were there, and Dave decided to bring me along to get some groceries from a nearby market. We zoomed over at about 48 KPH (I specifically remember asking him what the heck a Kilometer was) and arrived at the store. While we were in the checkout line, he saw me looking at comics and told me to pick one out. The Amazing Spiderman #282 was sitting on the rack and that ended being the winner, mainly because there wasn't a whole lot of other options. Published in "November" (really July) of 1986, it featuring the super rad cover with most of the Marvel Universe in a cool border treatment. I think I ended up buying G.I.Joe #53 after the trip because I was away for a month (G.I.Joe was the main title I was collecting at the time), so I had no idea that Marvel was doing this on all of their covers for "November" of 1986 in honor of their 25th Anniversary. As a kid, I thought this cover treatment was totally rad, and as an adult, I still think it's pretty cool, because I love covers that have a ton of heroes crammed into them. However, on this cover, I have no idea why the half of the Avengers are covered up by the UPC box when they could have moved Luke Cage over there. Now, I love me some Luke Cage, but seriously, in 1986, was he really in the upper echelon of super heroes in the Marvel Universe? He gets a spot right below the FF and above most of the West Coast Avengers? Really? Power Man? I refuse to believe he was that popular in the eighties. I don't even think he had his own book at the time. And as much as I really hate Ant-Man, he totally got jobbed on this deal. Cage got a prime and undeserved spot and Ant-Man gets half of his super small body covered by a big white box. He's Ant-Man for Christ's sake, they couldn't have found room for him? He's super small, you can stick him anywhere and he'll be visible, except for behind a big white box. Meanwhile, Powerman's cold chillin' on the other side of the frame without something covering his face or body, which would have been the right thing to do. I'm just sayin'.

Anyways, in buying me this comic, Dave would send me down a path that, at the time, he had no idea he would be sending me down. This issue had a guest spot featuring X-Factor. Up until this point, I was mainly collecting G.I.Joe, Transformers and a few other "kid" comics. The mutant titles, like X-Men, X-Factor and The New Mutants, were for adults or teenagers, or at least that's what I think my reasoning was at the time for some strange reason. Six months later I would purchase X-Men #213, and my life would be forever changed. But THIS comic set the groundwork for that life changing event.

Anyways, to get to the review, it starts off with a recap of recent events; Peter Parker's good friend Flash Thompson has been framed for the crimes of the Hobgoblin which was a big news item at the time. Mary Jane comes home to her apartment to find Spidey passed out in the bathroom, after getting his bell rung by the Rhino in the previous issue:




A quick sidebar: this issue featured Spidey in his super cool black costume. Now, as an adult I can fully recognize this for what it was; a total gimmick. Giving Spidey a new costume was a way to try and increase book sales. Look! It's Spidey! He's got new costume! Buy this book! I understand this now, but when I was ten, I thought it was the coolest thing ever. Spidey had the same boring costume since about 1961 so he was due for a change. In fact after the success of this costume change, Marvel made a major costume/look change for each of their major characters, by the time they got around to Cap, I was kind of over it. However, since this change was the first one, I thought Spidey's new costume was totally rad and I remember thinking, "Look! It's Spidey! He's got a new costume! I'm gonna buy this book!" Ok, I admit it, 10-year-old Tyler drank the Kool-Aid, but in his defense, 10-year-old Tyler was pretty naive. (EDITOR'S NOTE: The same could be said for the new movie. Look! It's Spidey! He's got a new costume! Go see the movie! Adult Tyler hasn't seen it yet, and he might end up waiting until HBO starts playing it in six to nine months)

Ok, so we've established that this comic is totally rad for two reasons; the kick-ass cover and Spidey's black costume. But we're just getting warmed up. It also features X-Factor, aka: the orginal X-Men. Ok, so we need an angle for them to get into the story. If only JJ was standing around in his office talking to Robbie to give us some expository dialogue:




Yes, exactly like that. Good thing Jonah's around. Anyways, to recap: blah, blah, blah, he hates Spider-Man, blah, blah, blah, he wishes there was something he could do about it, blah, blah, blah. What would be really cool is if there was a TV on in the background with a commercial playing that could help him with his problem...




...alright, now we're cookin'. He calls X-Factor, and they're gonna totally, finally get rid of this Spider-Man pest, once and for all. For sure this time. Not playin' around. It's really gonna happen. Take it to the bank. Guaranteed. Hmmmm, it could happen, right? Um, yeah, probably not.

Cut to X-Factor training at their headquarters, and in the time honored tradition of "The Comic Book Guest Spot™", within the first page or two of appearing, each character must refer to all other guest stars by their name, in bold, so the readers will know who they are (enlarge the image to the right). Ok, so did we get everyone? Looks like we're good to go. Like most DangerRoom or training sequences, one team's members collide with each other in a ball of mutant arms and legs so Cyke can stand above them with an irritatingly superior demeanor. Yeah, I'm not the biggest Cyclops fan. The guy's a sick-in-the-mud. Anyways, Hodge (aka Judas) gets on the horn and informs them they've got a job to do; they have to hunt down Spidey. Wha? Spidey's not a mutant. Or is he?

Now, I'm gonna tell you the truth, I really never got the rationale behind X-Factor's gig. They help mutants under the guise of hunting them down. They have two identities, one as X-Factor in which they "hunt" mutants down, and one as the X-Terminators, where they're mutants that "fight" X-Factor and help the mutants that are being persecuted. I understand that they're trying to form some kind of mutant underground railroad while sticking it to the mutant racists that call them, but man it's kind of complicated to follow. No wonder they dropped that storyline after 25 issues. And seriously, no one can figure out that when they're in their civilian clothes, the guy with the ruby quartz sunglasses is Cyclops and the guy with the freakin' huge backpack is Angel? I thought Warren Worthington III (Angel) was a public figure because he was a multi-millionaire and I'm also pretty sure it was public knowledge that he was a mutant because it's kind of hard to hide those super huge wings he's got. So no one can figure out that he's running around with four other people as X-Factor and then when the X-Terminators show up he's the Angel and there happens to be four other people fighting with him? Sigh. Also, no one apparently can put two and two together because everytime X-Factor gets a gig, the X-Terminators show up and save the mutants that are being hunted down. Everytime. Sometimes comic book logic frustrates the hell out of me...

ANYWAYS, to get back to the story, Spidey slips out of MJ's apartment and he goes out to try and find his buddy Flash. But he's having a hard time keeping it together because he doesn't feel too good, he's still a little hungover from the fight with Rhino. The X-Terminators (X-Factor in disguise) are in the city looking for Spidey, and, wouldn't you know it, they find him in no time. They try and talk to him, but Spidey's got a migraine, so he's not thinking too clearly. He thinks they're out to get him. They fight, and at some point, Angel accidently knocks Spidey into Marvel Girl (aka: Jean Grey). Way to go Angel, you're a total pro at this Super Hero racket (I'm not the biggest Angel fan either). Spidey tries to save her, but passes out right after he shoots his web which he hopes can stop her from falling in time. Luckily, Jean's a telekinetic and can fly, so she saves herself. The weird thing is how Spidey passes out. He's still totally buffed out. This is totally not possible. Check the pic off to the left if you don't believe me. It just doesn't look right.

So while he's still passed out, the group then debates what they should do and they come to the obvious conclusion: they stick to JJ bigtime. They refund his money because Spider-Man isn't a Mutant, and they hunt mutants, not Super Heros. I mean, they have morales, Jonah. JJ does not take the news too well and in typical JJ fashion, he starts tearing everyone a new one. X-Factor just decides to ignore him and walk out (why didn't anyone think to do that before?), but Robbie takes offense to JJ's rant and turns in his key to the executive washroom. Whoa dude, calm down. Let's not get crazy here. Quick Sidebar: So. Executive washrooms. Are companies still doing this in the year 2007? Because it seems like a pretty lame idea. As if owners/executives aren't hated enough, they've gotta do their business and wash up seperate from everyone else? Doesn't sound like the greatest idea to boost your company's morale.

So later, after Spidey recovers in a van and Iceman tells him that Jonah hired X-Factor to hunt him down (still trying to keep up the lame gimick), and he tells him to take it easy. Spidey then goes back to looking for Flash, and it's like this whole story didn't even happen. How can this be? In a comic book? Oh, wait, I think I just answered my own question. So, to wrap things up, we cut back to the Bugle and Robbie receives an interoffice package (what, they don't have email?). He opens the package, and it's his key back. See, Jonah does have a heart of gold, it's just really, really, really buried deep in a pit of hate and self-loathing. So everything's ok, Robbie and JJ ride off into the sunset and the status quo is maintained. The status quo must be maintained at all costs. That's the lesson for today, kids. Anyways, I read this one a lot as a kid, and it does remind me a lot of that trip my family took in '86. I also still think it's a pretty good comic, despite all of it's faults and it's timely, given the fact that Spidey 3 features the super cool black costume that at somepoint becomes Venom. So go buy this comic! Or see the movie! Sorry about that. So, yeah, that's about it; Amazing Spiderman #282, two thumbs up.

Why Spider-Man 3 Sucks.

Spoiler warnings aplenty, but here are the main reasons why Spider-Man 3 sucks:

1. The Retcon of Ben Parker's death. Completely. Lame. Hey, you know this new villain, the Sandman, well, he, uh, just happened to be responsible for killing your uncle a few years ago. Oh, no wait, he was accidentally responsible. It was just there to give Spidey a reason to get aggressive against him. The point in the comics is that it was a no-name criminal that killed Uncle Ben - this inspires Peter to take on all criminals, from small-time thieves to supervillains.

2. Too many poorly developed villians and cheesy dialogue aka the Batman Forever Factor. Green Goblin II was the only interesting villain of the three, and they could have done so much with the former friends dynamic. Instead, he's evil, then amnesiac, then evil again, then he redeems himself. Sandman looked cool, but did he really have a reason to go after Spider-Man? No. Spidey was trying to stop him from stealing money (which is not ok) but ultimately forgives him for murdering his uncle (which apparently is ok). Venom was extremely out of place - the rivalry between Eddie Brock and Peter Parker was rushed. And okay, this alien symbiote just crashed to Earth and immediately picks out Peter Parker as a host? There was no explanation for this meteorite crashing, why it chose Peter, nothing. And the line Venom says when he's got Mary Jane captive: "My spider sense is tingling. If you know what I mean" just about made me throw up! Stan Lee's cameo was incredibly cheesy, too.

3. They don't explain anything / more things seems out of place. Mary Jane doesn't tell Peter she got fired from the play. Um, why not? He's your boyfriend. And like Spider-Man would really kiss another girl in front of Mary Jane. That was so out of place.

4. Mary Jane is the damsel in distress. Again. Okay, so three times now a villian has captured Mary Jane and Spidey has to save her. Any idiot can trail Mary Jane and find out she is, at the very least, friends with Peter Parker and then piece together that Peter Parker is Spider-Man. No single girl in New York City gets kidnapped that much.

And while I'm ranting, Kirsten Dunst has said that nobody would go see Spider-Man 4 without her, Tobey Maguire or director Sam Raimi. Um, no. They'd get another cast and people would still go see it 'cause it's Spider-Man. If the story is there and it entertains, people will see it. I don't like Dunst as an actress and now I don't like her as a person, after her dumb and self-congratulating comments. I still think they should have gotten Alicia Witt to play MJ from the start.

The first Spider-Man was great, the second Spider-Man improved upon every single thing the first one did and this one just crapped on the whole mythology. I will not be buying this one to complete my Spider-Man trilogy collection. Let's hope they make a Spider-Man 4 and they get it right. A thousand jeers to Sam Raimi for tanking this one.